To all of the girls who will always wonder if they are going to be enough. To all of the girls who live in constant fear of being left for someone better. To all of the girls who try to be perfect for someone else. To all of the girls who feel like no one truly cares. To all of the girls who don’t have someone to tell them that they are worth it. To all of the girls who just want to feel wanted. To all of the girls who get walked over for being nice. To all of the girls who give themselves away because they think that maybe he’ll change his mind and stick around. To all of the girls who feel empty. To all of the girls who feel lost. To all of the girls who feel broken. To all of the girls who think that they don’t have a chance. To all of the girls who just want to feel cared for.
Keep your head up. You have a beautiful heart.
Sometimes I feel like I’m not that important to you. You say that I am, but I keep finding myself at the bottom of your priority list. I understand life gets busy, but I constantly feel like I’m being pushed aside for later. I always come second or third or fourth to whatever is going on. You say that I will always come first. I’m not asking for that. But when you say that you don’t have time for me and then you go out I feel like you don’t really want to make an effort to talk to me. I’m not asking you to give anything up, but it would be nice to know that you are trying. I make time for you. If I have plans with you and something comes up, I tell my friends that I have plans. I put you first. You are more important. I see these people every day, I live with them. I never see you. I rarely get to talk to you. So sometimes I stay home. Maybe I’m asking too much. Maybe I should stop canceling plans with my friends just because there might be a chance that you aren’t too busy for me. Maybe I’m just too sensitive. But I really wish things were different.
I’m sorry for complaining and sounding ungrateful. I know you’re trying. It’s just been a rough week.
One of the hardest things to do is let go of what doesn’t matter anymore. Whatever happened or whatever has been done to you is now in the past. Regardless of what you may believe, replaying it over and over again won’t help you solve anything. It won’t make it any easier to understand. It won’t justify whatever actions were taken against you. You can wish it away all you want, but it will still be there cemented in your thoughts. You either work through the pain and learn from it or you let it devour you from the inside out. There is no half-forgiving. And keep in mind forgiving doesn’t ever make what they did ok. It’s just acknowledging that you are trying to move on from it so it can no longer weigh you down. Sure, it’ll probably cross your mind from time to time, but it no longer has that hold on you. Eventually the anger dies down and you start to wonder why it meant so much to you in the first place.
Fall asleep crying with an ache inside your chest
Feeling like your dying, wake up screaming from your rest
Wonder where you’re going, why you’re going there alone
Wonder why you’re empty, why you never feel at home
Wish the pain would leave you, wash away among the tides
Wish the dark would dissipate, wish you didn’t have to hide
Promise that you’re ok, that you’re going to be just fine
Pray that you will make it, even after all this time.